-Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables
There is so much meaning in a name.
I have been very delicate lately; I know you wouldn't know it to look at me or talk with me. I am not one to freely share my delicacies. But I was a struggling mama this week. I know there are a million blog posts about Mother's Day, but this one is for me. This one is my encouragement. Because, you see, I haven't wanted to be a mom this week. I haven't wanted to respond to the word, "Mommy."
There is so much meaning in that name.
Mommy. Mommy. To children who are safe and secure this is a name that brings comfort. This is a name that brings images of support, encouragement, and sacrificial love. This is a name that offers protection. This is the name they call when they are hurting or when they fall and skin their knee or when they need a drink of water. The name they run to when they need a hug or their tears dried. This the name they cry out in the middle of the night. This is the name that they cry when they wake up in the morning.
There is so much meaning to me.
Sometimes I can't be the Mommy. Sometimes I am too fragile; sometimes I am too broken. My children built a house of cards this week. As they built, I felt like that house. So unstable, so moveable, so ready to fall at the slightest bit of movement. But then something beautiful happened. My son, so patiently and purposefully, would re-build. He delicately and slowly took each card that had fallen and placed it back upright.
There is meaning in another name.
I needed that. Christ (Abba, Father, Daddy), to me, is that delicate and loving hand. The one that patiently puts me back right when I fall down. That name I call when I fail. That name I call when I cannot be Mommy. The name that re-assures me when the days are long and the children need me. The name that I cry out to in the middle of the night. The name which is above every name.
I do not have to be the end all. There is a name above Mommy. A name that is more and means more. A name I can cry out to. A name that takes the broken and re-builds. A name that sees my sorrows and wipes my tears. The name I cry out to carry the burden that is too heavy.
So I breath out. I take my little ones into my arms and I say, "yes." Yes to being their Mommy because when I fail, there is another name...more sweet than Mommy. More gentle than Mommy. More loving than Mommy. There is a name that gives me the strength. Strength to love more each day, strength to grow in compassion, strength to give sacrificially.
As my littlest one curls up in my lap and snuggles close, her soft hair tickles my nose. She says, "I love you Mommy." I choose to remember there is another name. There is a name in whom I can find rest for my weary soul. I am embraced when I call out this name. I am held and snuggled. I am loved and so are they.